MY  HOME

I was going to talk about what kind of man Tony was, but as we all heard here today, we know that he’s a man of discipline, integrity, humanity, and compassion, thus I will not need to say further.  Instead I would like to tell you a story of us, how we became an “us”.

When we first met, I had just been off a relationship, and I told Tony that I was not ready to be in a serious relationship but we can still go out as friends.  He said that that’s fine but later he told me that he was really thinking, “Yeah, right.  That’s what you think.”  He, being Tony, so self-assured, knows what he wants, and how to get what he wants, that less than a month’s time, I was hooked.  I could not resist his charm, wit, humor and that beautiful contagious smile that lights up his face.  So within 6 months, we both knew we were meant to be, we connected, we fitted so well together.  We were definitely an “us”.  

Tony was my rock that I drew my strength from.  He was my heart that I loved life and our kids with.  He was my North Star that guided me home every night.  He was my home my shelter that I never had since my parents’ death when I was 14.  Now he is home with our Father, our Maker.  May he be at peace and happy to know that he has touched so many lives here and across the ocean. 

Tony, I will love you and miss you for eternity…

P.S.  I promise to you, Tony, that our sons will not forget what a loving wonderful father you are. 

Your other half,

Dianne Phuong Dao

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For Anh/Tony

One always wakes up from a nightmare.  But since Saturday, we have all woken up to a nightmare, a nightmare of life without you.  And while we cannot stop weeping, I want to remember how you made us laugh.  I want to remember your warmth, your humor, your extraordinary kindness. 

 

Many friends today know you as Tony, but to me, your little cousin, you are “Anh Anh,” which can be translated from Vietnamese to mean “older brother.”  And you possess that beautiful combination of strength and tenderness of a model older brother.  You always gently teased me like a loving brother would, whether teasing me about a boyfriend or giving me questionable dating advice.  We know you as joyful, and we know you as caring.  My mother remembers how last November, when my father was sick with pneumonia, you took her aside and comforted her, telling her that “everything would be alright, and that the condition was curable.” Those much-needed kind words in that moment are only one example of how your warm compassion gives life to all around you.  I loved most how last summer, all of us cousins would sit around the dinner table, laughing and making silly jokes until tears ran and our stomachs ached. 

And now we sit at a table that is without you, and it is so empty, and the cold, enormous void leaves us mute.  And we are so sad.  And we are so alone.  Your bright smile burns in our memories, and now, as the angels of heaven accompany you, your spirit lives in our hearts, and we will love you, Anh Anh, always. 

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For those of you who don’t know me, my name is John Kowal.  I came to know Tony in 1996 at work, and over the years he became my best friend.  I’m sure there are many here today who also regard him as their best friend.  That’s Tony.  He offered his friendship in so many ways:  a work colleague, someone to go to lunch or dinner with, to work out with, to bike with.  He was the self-appointed social chairman for all the groups of which he was a part.  He was very easy to talk to – to joke with and to have very serious discussions.  It was through such a serious discussion that Tony told me his priorities in life- God is number 1; family number 2 and work number 3.  It is apparent that by setting his priorities in this way he became the individual that we all knew and loved.

Work

Tony attacked his work with vigor and enthusiasm.  He was a leader, respected and admired by those he worked with.  As I have said, I worked with him starting in 1996 on the X-38.  It was there that I first saw what a special person he was.  He had a way of pulling people together.  And he made everyone feel important to the effort. As I’ve heard so much this week, these leadership traits carried on into his most recent team lead assignment.

Family

Tony listed family as his number 2 priority.  He was a loving and respectful son, a dependable brother, and a loving, caring, devoted husband and father.  He may no longer be with us on Earth, but his love for Dianne and the boys will last forever.  He set the standard for all husbands and fathers, and while we may try to meet it, I’m afraid we will always come up a bit short.

Friends

When I first recalled his life priorities, it seemed strange that I could not remember where his friends fit in.  But then it occurred to me.  To Tony, friends were family.  As he and I grew close, he treated me like a brother.  He and Dianne honored me by asking me to be the godfather of their firstborn son, Matthew.  They welcomed me into their lives, into their families, as they did so many others.  Many of his team members at work have stated how Tony created a family atmosphere within the team.  He valued each individual.  He included everyone.

God

God was Tony’s number 1 priority.  It may not have been apparent to everyone who knew him, but Tony was not only very religious, he was very spiritual.  His religion was not a simple weekly commitment, it was a daily pursuit.  He studied religious history, he studied the scripture, and he brought it into his everyday life.  It carrier over into his other priorities – family, friends and work.  It made him who he was. 

If you came to Tony with a personal problem, he was always there for you (many times over for me!).  He would always listen.  At times he would come back to you with relevant scripture, helping to show you the way.  He was never judgmental, and had a way of asking just the right questions to get you to a solution.  I’m sure if Tony were here with us right now, he could explain why he was taken from us and how we should work through the pain and grief to come out stronger and to embrace our lives.

He once sent me the following scripture, which may offer us some comfort today:

In the words of Jesus ( from Matthew Chapter 11, verses 28-30):

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Tony, my brother, you will be missed.  Be with God, and may God be with us.

John Kowal

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We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of our beloved friend and family member, Tony Dao, as he transitions from this life to the eternal after life.

Yesterday, we heard testimonials from Tony’s friends and family members.  They discussed Tony’s passion for life.  We all remember how Tony’s smile and laughter could light up a room.  How Tony treated his body like a temple.  Eating all the right foods, and lot’s of it, and exercising consistently and passionately.

 Tony’s brother, Tu, mentioned how Tony graduated with a Masters Degree from Wichita State at the top of his class.  Tony was diligent and discipline in his studies and all that he did.  From his coworkers we heard testimonials of how Tony had a driven and passionate work ethic.  He communicated frequently and openly with his team, customers, and stakeholders.  And he always kept everyone working towards a common goal.  But more importantly, Tony cared about people.  He made sure people were recognized and rewarded for their efforts.  In all aspects of his life, Tony put others before himself as the Bible tells us we should.

We all saw first hand how Tony was proud of his Vietnamese heritage and his humble beginnings when he first came to America at the age of 11.  It helped define who he was.

And, of course, we all know how much Tony adored his wife Diane and loved his boys Matthew and Michael.  He created a strong family identity that will long endure.

John Kowal mentioned how Tony had expressed his value system; God, family, work.  Tu mentioned how Tony also had a religious passion, was very spiritual, and studied the Bible often.  Tony was always looking to sharpen the saw and his religious passion took no exception.  At this time, I would like to read a verse from the Bible that reminds me of Tony.  It comes from Matthew Chapter 21, versus 18-22.  It is about Jesus.

And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on this tree henceforward for ever.  And presently the fig tree withered away. 

And when the disciples saw it, they marveled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away! 

Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

So while we share great pain at the loss of our beloved friend and family member, we should find great comfort and solace in the fact that Tony was a devout Christian, a devout Catholic, and is in a better place.

Those who were close to Tony became better because of his example and we should continue to follow that example.

Tony, thank you for being a part of our lives.  You will be missed!  God bless you!

Gerald Valle

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Dear Dianne, Matthew, Michael, family and friends, as we gather today to celebrate Tony’s life, I want to share a few stories with you.

- Tony's Romantic Side 

All of us know that Tony is a wonderful, charismatic, and athletic person, but I got to experience the romantic side of him with Dianne in optometry school.  Dianne & I often sat next to each other in class and in the summer of 1995, I started hearing more & more of this guy named Tony.  He seemed like a nice guy when we all went out in a big group, but when Dianne started sharing with me the love letters and poems that he composed for her, we started really paying attention to this new guy in her life.  There was one particular letter in which Tony expressed how much he’s touched by her beauty, her passion for life, and how having her in his life would complete him, and that’s when I knew that this is the man for Dianne.  Tony was totally and crazily in love with Dianne from the date they met.  I am very thankful that God has blessed Dianne with Tony and later on with Matthew and Michael.

- He really should have been a wedding/event planner instead of an engineer.

Tony had many talents, but I think he missed his true calling of being a wedding and event planner instead of an engineer.  Tony definitely is one of the most organized persons I know and boy did he love his Excel spread sheets.  For his wedding, Tony had made an individualized schedule for every member of the wedding party, the schedule was broken down to every 15 minutes and we were to memorize the schedule book.  Needless to say, that was probably the only Asian wedding that actually went on time. 

Tony has touched so many of us in so many ways.  I will always remember his big, bright, and contagious smile.  We will help that smile to pass on to Matthew and Michael.

Bridgitte Shen Lee